do.

i don’t make resolutions. my resolve isn’t nearly as gullible as it once was, and knows better than to make promises that it knows full well will never be kept. i am headstrong and willful, and will do and will not do whatever i feel like. and usually, i don’t feel like exercising more and eating better. i may think i want to be more organized and tidy, but know in my heart of hearts, it will never happen. the things that i think will make me a better person, are just the things that are bound to make me feel worse about myself and i refuse to subject myself to the ruse of setting myself up for more failure.

i will do what i need to do to make myself happy. that has been my one and only resolution for the past many years. and i try to stick as closely to it as possible. and when in doubt, i’ll eat bags of chips and reprimand myself for being so weak.

the caveat to this thought, is that i really do want to write here more often, yet i just don’t find the time nor the wherewithal to do so. but, but, but, but. the only thing i can do, is to say that i will try to do better. i will try to make an effort. i will try to try. and not in some vague sort of manner of trying. but you know, there will be a thought made toward how long it’s been and how i said i would do something.

and that’s all i can do for now.

~ by misshoax on January 7, 2009.